knic84's public diary

...it means that a) you're on my msn list and b) you cared enough to come to this page. And since you cared, I'm going to offer up an explanation in a very self-centric manner of why you're here.

I'm going on a Messenger-free diet for all but a few hours a week. Where those hours fall, and how many they are, will no doubt differ each time. I make no promises. Why would I do this? Don't even think it's because I don't want to talk to you. Don't be selfish - it's my blog, so I get to be the selfish one.

For years I've spent the vastly hugely grossly overwhelming majority of my time in front of a screen, and about 99% of that time the screen has belonged to a computer. All my jobs have had me on a computer. School has me on a computer. 8 or more hours on the computer a day, and growing. My nights can be summarized as follows - get home from school, sign on msn, open a window full of programming code, and sit unmoving for 5 hours, save for dinner and washroom breaks.

My back is suffering; I don't want scoliosis (my mom's medical condition of choice to describe the future of my back). Studies will show that I am putting my eyes on the fast track to glaucoma, and its friend, blindness. I feel my time and energy could be better spent if I had less 7-msn-window nights, and instead truly valuable, one-on-one conversations like before the days of the internet.

I'll be on the computer for fun when I want to be. So please, feel free to call me. I'm not that great on the phone, and at one time I found it much more awkward than a keyboard, but now I'm aching for a change of some kind to try to get the motivation to do other things, motivation that I've lost.

It's been a record low, how many, 2 days or so since the last post? Wow. Let's draw up the similarities of this workday to the last:

1) I'm posting on lunch.
2) I'm having the same lunch - scalding hot instant rotini
3) I'm bored.

The checklist above pretty much covers any given day that I might post. Except today I made a paper airplane out of a sticky note when I realized I hadn't made the mistake I thought in the file I slapped it on. It's joined its purple brother in its spot stuck by its adhesive wing to my monitor.

I guess I'm done on the 30th. I kinda got asked offhand today, and it sounds fine by me to finish at the end of the month. That gives me a few days before school to cram in some quality time with whatever it is I do before I'm robbed of a summer holiday. It's going to go against every natural human impulse to vegetate in a professional development course rather than frolic in what's shaping up to be nice summer weather. We have laptops, why not go outside? I'll have to buy the kind with the screen that they modeled after butterfly wings, or whatever, so that you can see the colors in the sun. See? Nature and computing go hand in hand.

So on the radio this morning I heard that band Pilot again... the vocalist sounds just like Bono from U2. I don't know if it's intentional or not, but he's pretty close to the lawsuit mark. They better hope they don't make anything but the middle time. Then there's that other band High Holy Days, 'inspired' by Creed and Nickleback, the latter of which is also 'inspired' by Creed. Who is 'inspired' by Pearl Jam. God they all sound the same. I should've gotten paid to just mention all of them here; for some of them it's the most exposure they'll probably ever get before they bomb out.

Anyway yes. No one cares about that. I think I'll go see what's up at X-entertainment. You should go check out the 80s commercial reviews - they have the one where Bugs Bunny warns you about scalding yourself. If only I applied that to eating my lunch, my tongue might still have more tastebuds. And no, I'm not paid to plug that site, either. :(

BYE!

I've decided due to any lack of demand whatsoever to end the hiatus and revive this comatose blog. Pluck it from the brink of damnation and most likely deletion, if you will. I'm already enjoying this again!

It's been, what, half a year since this went inactive? Well, let's see, I could blame work. I'm there right now, on lunch which, logically, you'd think I'd want to spend away from the radiation emitter, but since I can't take my 3 cheese instant rotini anywhere without scalding myself anyway, I thought I'd spend lunch with you, dear blog and readers <3.

Yes, my co-op job might be over soon, but it's been a long 3+ months. Almost 4 by the time I get outta here. I don't know who might be reading as I type, in fact, so I must be brief. I input math questions, lots and lots and LOTS of math questions. It's sharpened my input skills to a sickeningly proficient edge, where my right hand does nothing but dance around the numpad and occasionally move the mouse most of the day. Don't go getting ideas, I work my CD player with the left. I will elaborate more, perhaps, in less public quarters, but suffice to say I would rather not see another fraction, decimal, multiplication or division sign again. Ever.

When the boredom wins out, I sit around, staring blankly into space. Or at the new wallpaper I put up, though I don't think it's called wallpaper on a Mac... ladybugs is so cute. Before I had any applications other than what I needed to work enabled on this Mac, which went on for rather a long time, my will to live was questionable. So I started writing a good, depressing story. Now it's finished, and I've sent it to eastoftheweb.com to see if maaaaybe they'd want to publish it. If not, my will to live will again be thrown into question, so if you're reading this, eastoftheweb, think about your rejection letter.

Well, my lunch is nearly over... how to wrap this up? What's normally 30 minutes that would have been better spent sleeping, you've helped me turn into an antidote to abject boredom. Thank you.

This thing hasn't been updated in quite some time, now has it? My holiday blogging hiatus can be considered over as of now, as excessive free time and the accompanying boredom more than allow for updates. Read: gawd I'm bored. Though I've been keeping surprisingly busy with my social circles and fun in general, I've got a bit of an ambition vacuum forming - idling around like I've been is breeding restlessness, particularly when I know I could've had a job for the coming semester, starting in about a week (for those of us in college that is. A few friends will be going back to school in just a couple more days). Some half-hearted job searching effort on my part and a couple more fruitless interviews later, this co-op term goes with the last like peas and carrots. I'll stop referencing the script to Forrest Gump now before I get started thinking about my Ferrero Rocher Christmas chocolate.

So, with little to do, I've been trying to do something valuable. I wrote a review for Disgaea which I've submitted to RPGFan as well as having got posted on Amped Gaming, my boyfriend's budding site on all things gaming. Hee, boyfriend. It still sounds a little unbelievable in the posessive form. I've been trying my hand, rather lazily mind you, at remixing something for OCRemix, with results to match my efforts. Mostly, I guess I'd like something to occupy myself as well as be a successful project someone, somewhere might appreciate.

Maybe I should write a book. All I need is an idea, some planning, and some motivation, the last of those now all gone due to listing what I'd need to do.

If I can't do that mind you, I can try to round up nostalgic little trinkets to remind me of my life's worth. Which I started on today, at Cinema 1 in White Oaks Mall. I hadn't thought I would find the elusive prize for sale anywhere, and when it was so suddenly placed before me, I couldn't help but seize the opportunity. The sales associate guy, about my age and with abouding cool dude bravado, evidently thought I was a few bricks short of a load when I asked him if they had a Claymation Christmas special. A hallmark of a holiday special from my youth that was yanked from the airwaves for some unknown but reproachable reason, all I could remember about it was that it featured the California Raisins and just blew most anything else out of the water around Christmastime. That said, I left the mall a little richer in belated holiday spirit, but in reality 40 dollars poorer with the DVD. When asked at the counter if it was a gift or for myself, a legitimate question by all counts but one that put me in a self-conscious, defensive position of my confidence-lacking ego, I gave the honest answer: It's for nostalgia. For myself.

It's not quite the same as back then, but that trickle of holiday spirit it still holds should come in handy next year, whilst I surround myself with even more reminders of yuletide seasons past to try to revive some of that faint festive cheer. I hope all had a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a Happy New Year.

knic84 strode off into the sunset at 8:04 PM.

Today marked the last exam of my uneventful, uninspiring, unforgettably boring third semester of computer programming at my beloved college. Hip hip hooray, joy and glee. The marks may not be as pretty a sight this time around as the previous two, but I really don't feel fully accountable. In that narrow margin that keeps me from feeling totally slackish and self-loathing is the fact that early morning classes took a nice toll on the ol' attention span, effectively reducing it to nil as some days were spent entirely trying to stay conscious on a sleep cycle repeatedly jarred by mysterious 3am awakenings. I know, I shouldn't complain so much and do so in a half-joking way cause I know my pitiful gripes are dwarfed by real problems, but I want my turn to bitch about something too, dammit. I think it's warranted - sleep is totally underappreciated, and I for one want to spend the 1/3 or so of my life that we're supposed to, in as REM-like a state as possible. Of course, given that I'm here writing this at this time rather than pursuing my dream just takes the credibility right out of that statement.

Additionally, relatively unprofessional/disorganized professoring made certain I wasn't the only one chiming in on the collective "WTF?" at the bogus C++ exam content that reflected 2 days of instruction on inheritance more than the 14 weeks previous of learning... nothing. Numerous classes were cancelled earlier on in the year, which would account for some of the few new concepts for the course being hurriedly introduced during exam review time. As for any other courses I did badly in, well, blame me.

Maybe I'm making excuses. Maybe I'm losing interest in this programming thang. No, I just want potato chips that taste good, unlike those damned body-odor-scented Baked Lays, that aren't #1 on the worst foods for you list. Or whatever they were. In any case, it's over, time will tell how much I sucked, and this co-op job may destroy me with daily 5 am wake up times for the next 3 weeks.

But what am I talking about? Tis the season to be jolly, and jolly I will be till I can't jolly no more. Switching gears, nature sent a bug after me as its way of telling me I'm risking the blood clotting in my veins from lack of movement. I like subtlety. I hope it's not on me again.

knic84 decked the halls with copious amounts of mistletoe at 11:34 PM.

Konami seems to have attributed some of the Dance Dance Revolution franchise success to its important-sounding moniker, as they and maker of Frequency and Amplitude, Harmonix, have slapped it on the fruit of their collaboration, Karaoke Revolution, a singing game for PS2 which employs the pack-in microphone as its weapon of choice. That or they just aren't good with titles, which would explain the whole Revolution thing to begin with. Anyway, those with a modicum of vocal talent and a good measure of shamelessness brave the danger of sounding like a complete jackass as they sing along to a bunch of unfortunately chosen music, save for a few tracks. A few which make me want the game rather badly - one, in particular. A song by the Gin Blossoms, bless their defunct old desert twang. Could it have been a user vote that put Hey Jealousy in the game? Who knows how the 11-year-old song got on there, since although it was a hit at the time, the rest are fairly recent, well-known, or classics of eras gone by. Sorely misplaced alongside 32785 Michelle Branch tracks, that old personal favorite jumped out at me from its bottom-of-the-list spot on the box, and since I have so much practice from singing it in the shower, I'm dying to know whether the bathroom echo and running water masked innumerable truly abominable renditions.

But with this game comes the terrible toll of untold self-humiliation. It's a given I'd have to sing for much-amused onlookers who would dare not step up to the mic themselves. Dare I drop 80 bucks Canadian on this game only to deny I have it and shield it from view at every opportunity of discovery? It's the kind of game that could keep you up at night, paranoid that your guilty pleasure will be found out by loose-lipped siblings and revealed to ravenous friends who would love nothing more than to gawk at your cringe-worthy performance. You see, with friends like mine, you're not a God-fearing individual, you are a friend-fearing one. Your socks can be tied at the ends, you can be poked, tickled, and smothered with pillows, and if you're still alive at that point, you can be licked on the FACE, but still, none of it would compare to the dignity lost in a single minute with Karaoke Revolution.

Maybe someone will buy it for me for Christmas.

knic84 broke some glass at 8:37 PM.

It's been 2 days since the incident, the grotesque nature of which merited this post, my boycott on food at my college, and a refund of my $1.10. You see, when I bought an Amazon Brittle chocolate bar from one of the school variety stores, I paid for a milk-chocolatey blend of toffee, cashews, and brazil nuts. No one seems to know what Amazon Brittle is - it's one of Cadbury's shiny purple foil-wrapped treats. I never buy the things, as frankly that's too many different nuts for me, but I didn't feel like Glossettes again. In retrospective, I should have gone with that peanut-/almond-loving instinct.

Anyway, back to the point -- what I bought and what I got were entirely different, the likes of which may not shock and appall you, but I'll remain thankful that I examined my purchase before eating. Because, you see, upon opening the lunch sandwich substitute, I was greeted by the sight of white mould festering in an almost-mistakeable-for-nougat-spilling-out type profusion on the end. But it certainly wasn't no nougat.

And then it got worse.

What appeared to be little fecal matter deposits or possibly dead larvae hung clinging to cobwebs going from chocolate to wrapper, and a point of entry indicated where some hungry and ill-fated spider had dug itself a shallow, cocoa-buttery grave. A territory I cared not venture into.

Apparently, as I was informed by the counter lady, the food sits in the warehouses a long time before it even gets to the school. I did notice a not-so-fine layer of dust on some of the more unpopular shelfees, but how a spider would get in after packaging is a mystery so I guess I can't rightly blame the school. What I will do is spend my money elsewhere, since burnt pepperoni on grease-slathered, overpriced Pizza Pizza, extra fees for debit payment and this latest occurence have persuaded me to boycott college food.

So don't eat school food.

knic84 could've been more clever at 4:52 PM.